So, from my (limited) experience in writing, I have come to decide something: the biggest pain in the ass ever is waiting for cover art. I've had the second act of the Chainsmoker's Trilogy done and prettied up for a while now, but the reason you're not currently holding a nice paperback copy of it is this: Goddamn Cover Art. It's a lame excuse, but it's the truth. Hopefully I can get that all sorted out in the next few weeks, though.
Well, I don't have much else in the way of updates for you, so I'll leave you with another hint about my super-secret mystery project.
It's strictly not Lovecraftian in nature.
Well, that's all, ladies and gentlemen.
This is Rosenbloom, signing off.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
A Slice of Life
So, let's take this time to vent a little bit. There are a few really interesting words in the English language, and a few of these words can be used to describe people, their habits, or their status in life. Some people are amazing. Some people are boring, or dull. Some people make you walk away feeling like you desperately need a shower. Some people manage to do this in a good way. That last group is extremely rare. Some people are assholes. Not to be mean or spiteful, it's just a fact of life. Hell, I'm one of 'em. Yeah, you read that correctly. I'm an asshole. Kinda proud of it, too. Someone needs to counteract all the suger-coated PC bullshit that floats through the air these days. Here's a nice little crash course in early-asshole detection methods.
First, if someone tries to introduce themselves with any of the following words, it probably means they're a complete prick. Now, you don't necessarily need to steer clear of them, but they're probably full of themselves and will at some point in your association with them deserve a good hard slap in the face. Don't hesitate to deliver it. The words are: "savant", "genius", "adept", "hero", "martyr", "jackass", "asshole"(or any of its variants), and "extraordinaire". That last one... That one really pisses me right the fuck off. Not only is it ego masturbation, it's haughty ego masturbation. Extra. Ordin. AIRE. As if somehow peppering your speech with foreign words will make you less of an prick. As for the others... Well, the first few show an inflated ego as well, and if someone is telling you upfront that he's a prick, it's probably because he's at least an honest prick. That, and the "I told you so" dance later on is really, really worth it.
Second, look out for some key attitudes. Namely, if this guy (or girl, but I'm gonna say "guy" for the sake of convenience. My blog. My dialect. My laziness. Get used to it) tells you flat out that he's better than other people, he probably deserves that good hard slap right about now. Trust me, it's probably completely unfounded and just a way of hiding his jealousy. Or he's a self-important douchebag. That is also a possibility. Another one that I've picked up lately is the unfortunate situation in which the asshole in question is actually unaware of his doucheyness. This is evidenced by the following phrase: "I just want to save people." There's a translation available. I'm fluent in both Asshole and English, so here it goes: "I will probably fuck up your life. Intentionally or not. But I'll give the excuse that I'm helping someone. Whether they want me to or not. 'Cause that's how Jesus worked, right? And I'm just so FUCKING JESUS-EY." Also, music choice. Panic! At the Disco, for example, is a hallmark of male child molesters, emo kids, and douchebags. Avoid these people at most costs. I say "most" because there are exceptions to the music rule. The Jesus Syndrome, though? FUCK THAT. Run. Run far the fuck away. Because this asshole will tear up everything in his path trying to "save" one person. Kind of like a slightly dumber version of the Incredible Hulk. If he had all of the emotional depth of the Joker.
Third, if you happen to find yourself in the company of an asshole, do not try and play along with him. This will only serve to infect you with the Asshole Virus, and before you know it, you're a miserable prick, too. No one wants this. Instead, don't laugh at his jokes out of kindness. Laugh if they're funny. You don't owe this guy anything. Don't act like it, or you'll basically be applying a bicycle pump to his ego. Not a good thing. Warn him when he's getting close to crossing the line. Who knows? This might even help to quell his dickish behavior.
Fourth, don't take my advice too seriously. After all, I'm kind of a self-satisfied prick. Not to the point where I would describe myself as a "writer extraordinaire" or anything. That would be silly. I'm a casual writer, and every once in a while, people enjoy my books. And my rants. Then again, some people are crazy... So there's that...
First, if someone tries to introduce themselves with any of the following words, it probably means they're a complete prick. Now, you don't necessarily need to steer clear of them, but they're probably full of themselves and will at some point in your association with them deserve a good hard slap in the face. Don't hesitate to deliver it. The words are: "savant", "genius", "adept", "hero", "martyr", "jackass", "asshole"(or any of its variants), and "extraordinaire". That last one... That one really pisses me right the fuck off. Not only is it ego masturbation, it's haughty ego masturbation. Extra. Ordin. AIRE. As if somehow peppering your speech with foreign words will make you less of an prick. As for the others... Well, the first few show an inflated ego as well, and if someone is telling you upfront that he's a prick, it's probably because he's at least an honest prick. That, and the "I told you so" dance later on is really, really worth it.
Second, look out for some key attitudes. Namely, if this guy (or girl, but I'm gonna say "guy" for the sake of convenience. My blog. My dialect. My laziness. Get used to it) tells you flat out that he's better than other people, he probably deserves that good hard slap right about now. Trust me, it's probably completely unfounded and just a way of hiding his jealousy. Or he's a self-important douchebag. That is also a possibility. Another one that I've picked up lately is the unfortunate situation in which the asshole in question is actually unaware of his doucheyness. This is evidenced by the following phrase: "I just want to save people." There's a translation available. I'm fluent in both Asshole and English, so here it goes: "I will probably fuck up your life. Intentionally or not. But I'll give the excuse that I'm helping someone. Whether they want me to or not. 'Cause that's how Jesus worked, right? And I'm just so FUCKING JESUS-EY." Also, music choice. Panic! At the Disco, for example, is a hallmark of male child molesters, emo kids, and douchebags. Avoid these people at most costs. I say "most" because there are exceptions to the music rule. The Jesus Syndrome, though? FUCK THAT. Run. Run far the fuck away. Because this asshole will tear up everything in his path trying to "save" one person. Kind of like a slightly dumber version of the Incredible Hulk. If he had all of the emotional depth of the Joker.
Third, if you happen to find yourself in the company of an asshole, do not try and play along with him. This will only serve to infect you with the Asshole Virus, and before you know it, you're a miserable prick, too. No one wants this. Instead, don't laugh at his jokes out of kindness. Laugh if they're funny. You don't owe this guy anything. Don't act like it, or you'll basically be applying a bicycle pump to his ego. Not a good thing. Warn him when he's getting close to crossing the line. Who knows? This might even help to quell his dickish behavior.
Fourth, don't take my advice too seriously. After all, I'm kind of a self-satisfied prick. Not to the point where I would describe myself as a "writer extraordinaire" or anything. That would be silly. I'm a casual writer, and every once in a while, people enjoy my books. And my rants. Then again, some people are crazy... So there's that...
Monday, April 4, 2011
So, there's been a hitch...
Never the most pleasant thing to hear, is it? "There's been a hitch" can mean one of two things: "You're fucked" or "You're REALLY fucked" and there are very few situations where either one of those phrases can be strung up in a classy manner. So here's the lowdown: we're hitting a slight snag in the release of The Forgotten what with the cover art taking a significantly larger amount of time to put together than was initially expected. The Funeral of Reason is in a similar situation. In the meantime, I'm still working. My secret project of course has a new hint for all of you to chew on. Here it goes:
The creature this book focuses on isn't indigenous to any one particular area. It exists by many different names, and its origins have been, and likely will always remain a mystery.
So there's that. In other news, I'll probably be doing ScriptFrenzy this year, using my debut novel as my template. Anyone up for filming a few scenes over the summer?
All I've got for now.
This is Rosenbloom, signing off.
The creature this book focuses on isn't indigenous to any one particular area. It exists by many different names, and its origins have been, and likely will always remain a mystery.
So there's that. In other news, I'll probably be doing ScriptFrenzy this year, using my debut novel as my template. Anyone up for filming a few scenes over the summer?
All I've got for now.
This is Rosenbloom, signing off.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)