So, from my (limited) experience in writing, I have come to decide something: the biggest pain in the ass ever is waiting for cover art. I've had the second act of the Chainsmoker's Trilogy done and prettied up for a while now, but the reason you're not currently holding a nice paperback copy of it is this: Goddamn Cover Art. It's a lame excuse, but it's the truth. Hopefully I can get that all sorted out in the next few weeks, though.
Well, I don't have much else in the way of updates for you, so I'll leave you with another hint about my super-secret mystery project.
It's strictly not Lovecraftian in nature.
Well, that's all, ladies and gentlemen.
This is Rosenbloom, signing off.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
A Slice of Life
So, let's take this time to vent a little bit. There are a few really interesting words in the English language, and a few of these words can be used to describe people, their habits, or their status in life. Some people are amazing. Some people are boring, or dull. Some people make you walk away feeling like you desperately need a shower. Some people manage to do this in a good way. That last group is extremely rare. Some people are assholes. Not to be mean or spiteful, it's just a fact of life. Hell, I'm one of 'em. Yeah, you read that correctly. I'm an asshole. Kinda proud of it, too. Someone needs to counteract all the suger-coated PC bullshit that floats through the air these days. Here's a nice little crash course in early-asshole detection methods.
First, if someone tries to introduce themselves with any of the following words, it probably means they're a complete prick. Now, you don't necessarily need to steer clear of them, but they're probably full of themselves and will at some point in your association with them deserve a good hard slap in the face. Don't hesitate to deliver it. The words are: "savant", "genius", "adept", "hero", "martyr", "jackass", "asshole"(or any of its variants), and "extraordinaire". That last one... That one really pisses me right the fuck off. Not only is it ego masturbation, it's haughty ego masturbation. Extra. Ordin. AIRE. As if somehow peppering your speech with foreign words will make you less of an prick. As for the others... Well, the first few show an inflated ego as well, and if someone is telling you upfront that he's a prick, it's probably because he's at least an honest prick. That, and the "I told you so" dance later on is really, really worth it.
Second, look out for some key attitudes. Namely, if this guy (or girl, but I'm gonna say "guy" for the sake of convenience. My blog. My dialect. My laziness. Get used to it) tells you flat out that he's better than other people, he probably deserves that good hard slap right about now. Trust me, it's probably completely unfounded and just a way of hiding his jealousy. Or he's a self-important douchebag. That is also a possibility. Another one that I've picked up lately is the unfortunate situation in which the asshole in question is actually unaware of his doucheyness. This is evidenced by the following phrase: "I just want to save people." There's a translation available. I'm fluent in both Asshole and English, so here it goes: "I will probably fuck up your life. Intentionally or not. But I'll give the excuse that I'm helping someone. Whether they want me to or not. 'Cause that's how Jesus worked, right? And I'm just so FUCKING JESUS-EY." Also, music choice. Panic! At the Disco, for example, is a hallmark of male child molesters, emo kids, and douchebags. Avoid these people at most costs. I say "most" because there are exceptions to the music rule. The Jesus Syndrome, though? FUCK THAT. Run. Run far the fuck away. Because this asshole will tear up everything in his path trying to "save" one person. Kind of like a slightly dumber version of the Incredible Hulk. If he had all of the emotional depth of the Joker.
Third, if you happen to find yourself in the company of an asshole, do not try and play along with him. This will only serve to infect you with the Asshole Virus, and before you know it, you're a miserable prick, too. No one wants this. Instead, don't laugh at his jokes out of kindness. Laugh if they're funny. You don't owe this guy anything. Don't act like it, or you'll basically be applying a bicycle pump to his ego. Not a good thing. Warn him when he's getting close to crossing the line. Who knows? This might even help to quell his dickish behavior.
Fourth, don't take my advice too seriously. After all, I'm kind of a self-satisfied prick. Not to the point where I would describe myself as a "writer extraordinaire" or anything. That would be silly. I'm a casual writer, and every once in a while, people enjoy my books. And my rants. Then again, some people are crazy... So there's that...
First, if someone tries to introduce themselves with any of the following words, it probably means they're a complete prick. Now, you don't necessarily need to steer clear of them, but they're probably full of themselves and will at some point in your association with them deserve a good hard slap in the face. Don't hesitate to deliver it. The words are: "savant", "genius", "adept", "hero", "martyr", "jackass", "asshole"(or any of its variants), and "extraordinaire". That last one... That one really pisses me right the fuck off. Not only is it ego masturbation, it's haughty ego masturbation. Extra. Ordin. AIRE. As if somehow peppering your speech with foreign words will make you less of an prick. As for the others... Well, the first few show an inflated ego as well, and if someone is telling you upfront that he's a prick, it's probably because he's at least an honest prick. That, and the "I told you so" dance later on is really, really worth it.
Second, look out for some key attitudes. Namely, if this guy (or girl, but I'm gonna say "guy" for the sake of convenience. My blog. My dialect. My laziness. Get used to it) tells you flat out that he's better than other people, he probably deserves that good hard slap right about now. Trust me, it's probably completely unfounded and just a way of hiding his jealousy. Or he's a self-important douchebag. That is also a possibility. Another one that I've picked up lately is the unfortunate situation in which the asshole in question is actually unaware of his doucheyness. This is evidenced by the following phrase: "I just want to save people." There's a translation available. I'm fluent in both Asshole and English, so here it goes: "I will probably fuck up your life. Intentionally or not. But I'll give the excuse that I'm helping someone. Whether they want me to or not. 'Cause that's how Jesus worked, right? And I'm just so FUCKING JESUS-EY." Also, music choice. Panic! At the Disco, for example, is a hallmark of male child molesters, emo kids, and douchebags. Avoid these people at most costs. I say "most" because there are exceptions to the music rule. The Jesus Syndrome, though? FUCK THAT. Run. Run far the fuck away. Because this asshole will tear up everything in his path trying to "save" one person. Kind of like a slightly dumber version of the Incredible Hulk. If he had all of the emotional depth of the Joker.
Third, if you happen to find yourself in the company of an asshole, do not try and play along with him. This will only serve to infect you with the Asshole Virus, and before you know it, you're a miserable prick, too. No one wants this. Instead, don't laugh at his jokes out of kindness. Laugh if they're funny. You don't owe this guy anything. Don't act like it, or you'll basically be applying a bicycle pump to his ego. Not a good thing. Warn him when he's getting close to crossing the line. Who knows? This might even help to quell his dickish behavior.
Fourth, don't take my advice too seriously. After all, I'm kind of a self-satisfied prick. Not to the point where I would describe myself as a "writer extraordinaire" or anything. That would be silly. I'm a casual writer, and every once in a while, people enjoy my books. And my rants. Then again, some people are crazy... So there's that...
Monday, April 4, 2011
So, there's been a hitch...
Never the most pleasant thing to hear, is it? "There's been a hitch" can mean one of two things: "You're fucked" or "You're REALLY fucked" and there are very few situations where either one of those phrases can be strung up in a classy manner. So here's the lowdown: we're hitting a slight snag in the release of The Forgotten what with the cover art taking a significantly larger amount of time to put together than was initially expected. The Funeral of Reason is in a similar situation. In the meantime, I'm still working. My secret project of course has a new hint for all of you to chew on. Here it goes:
The creature this book focuses on isn't indigenous to any one particular area. It exists by many different names, and its origins have been, and likely will always remain a mystery.
So there's that. In other news, I'll probably be doing ScriptFrenzy this year, using my debut novel as my template. Anyone up for filming a few scenes over the summer?
All I've got for now.
This is Rosenbloom, signing off.
The creature this book focuses on isn't indigenous to any one particular area. It exists by many different names, and its origins have been, and likely will always remain a mystery.
So there's that. In other news, I'll probably be doing ScriptFrenzy this year, using my debut novel as my template. Anyone up for filming a few scenes over the summer?
All I've got for now.
This is Rosenbloom, signing off.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Where do we go from here?
The second act of the Chainsmoker's Trilogy, The Forgotten, is completed and awaiting publication. So now I'll let you in on some clues as to my next project. The Reclaimed will be the title of the third book in the trilogy, but that's not what I'm here to talk about.
As some of you may know, horror is a bit of a pet genre for me, something that gives me great joy to read and something that I aspire to write. And that is why, ladies and gentlemen, I am embarking on an epic quest. A foray into modern terror. It would be a waste to spoil the whole thing right here, but I will tell you this much: God, do I love urban legends. They have a certain mystique to them, like the common threads that bind mythologies together, and no matter where you go there is some variation on a familiar legend. And this one... It's going to send you for a spin. That's what I'm hoping, anyway.
So here's a question for my readers. One that might clue you in as to my next endeavor. What's nine feet tall, made of pure terror, and can't be slowed, stopped, or killed?
Chew on that for a little while.
This is Rosenbloom, signing off.
As some of you may know, horror is a bit of a pet genre for me, something that gives me great joy to read and something that I aspire to write. And that is why, ladies and gentlemen, I am embarking on an epic quest. A foray into modern terror. It would be a waste to spoil the whole thing right here, but I will tell you this much: God, do I love urban legends. They have a certain mystique to them, like the common threads that bind mythologies together, and no matter where you go there is some variation on a familiar legend. And this one... It's going to send you for a spin. That's what I'm hoping, anyway.
So here's a question for my readers. One that might clue you in as to my next endeavor. What's nine feet tall, made of pure terror, and can't be slowed, stopped, or killed?
Chew on that for a little while.
This is Rosenbloom, signing off.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Attention, Ladies and Gentlemen
There will be two of my projects hitting the internet stores (primarily Amazon) very shortly. First up we have the delicious and short collection of poems entitled "The Funeral of Reason" which consists of a scant fifty-something-odd pages of yours truly waxing poetic about life, love, loss, religion, and blah-dee-blah. On the other end of the spectrum, after none too long of a wait, yes, it is arriving... The Forgotten: Act Two of the Chainsmoker's Trilogy. March 2011. On Amazon. Order it and support this independent author.
As for updates on my latest projects, Bliss has hit an unfortunate snag and may well be sinking. I apologize to those among you who managed to get hyped up by my brief descriptions of it on this blog and in casual conversation. However, the extra time means that I should be able to have The Reclaimed finished by the time summer rolls around. Does this mean that you'll be able to read the entire Chainsmoker's Trilogy in one year? The short answer: no. I love you all dearly, and it's a slim possibility, but I think I might shelf The Reclaimed once I finish it and publish it around Christmas next year. After all, it'd be like I'm spoiling you if I pump out an entire trilogy in six months, wouldn't it? But enough about that depressing business. Your hope for getting The Reclaimed published revolves around my work on a project called The Devil in the Pines, a retelling of the wonderful legend of the Jersey Devil. See, if it's looking like I need to actually spend a week or two in the Pine Barrens to get a feel for my setting, then you're in luck, and you'll get to see the thrilling conclusion to the tale of Jack and Amy before the end of the summer.
Thanks for reading, ladies and gentlemen.
This is Rosenbloom, signing off.
As for updates on my latest projects, Bliss has hit an unfortunate snag and may well be sinking. I apologize to those among you who managed to get hyped up by my brief descriptions of it on this blog and in casual conversation. However, the extra time means that I should be able to have The Reclaimed finished by the time summer rolls around. Does this mean that you'll be able to read the entire Chainsmoker's Trilogy in one year? The short answer: no. I love you all dearly, and it's a slim possibility, but I think I might shelf The Reclaimed once I finish it and publish it around Christmas next year. After all, it'd be like I'm spoiling you if I pump out an entire trilogy in six months, wouldn't it? But enough about that depressing business. Your hope for getting The Reclaimed published revolves around my work on a project called The Devil in the Pines, a retelling of the wonderful legend of the Jersey Devil. See, if it's looking like I need to actually spend a week or two in the Pine Barrens to get a feel for my setting, then you're in luck, and you'll get to see the thrilling conclusion to the tale of Jack and Amy before the end of the summer.
Thanks for reading, ladies and gentlemen.
This is Rosenbloom, signing off.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Mike and Danielle, the Catalysts of Chaos
Chaos is one of the driving themes of The Graceless. The chaos of life, of death, and of change are all represented in the characters of Mike and Danielle. I'm pleased to say that they will both be making a comeback in The Forgotten, though one will carry more weight with his or her appearance than the other, their work as agents of change is far from over. For those of you who have yet to read The Graceless, I'll spare the spoilers, but say this: In the world of the Chainsmoker's Trilogy, very little is exactly what it seems.
Danielle, for example, brings with her everywhere she goes, the promise of change, but almost always through violent upheaval. It's not really her fault, and she's rarely aware of it, but serendipity disguised as misfortune seems to be a great friend of hers. Mike on the other hand... Well... He's much more complicated than some of my readers have given him credit for. I sometimes wonder how the story would have gone without the presence of either of these characters, and then I realize it would never have been the same without them. They're essential to The Graceless, and one of them is equally important in the pages of The Forgotten, if not more so.
At any rate, the novel is coming along quite nicely, and it is looking as though The Forgotten will meet its Spring 2011 deadline. I'll be sure to keep everyone posted as the story goes on, without ruining any of the details. After all, it's no fun if I suddenly reveal that Jack was an alien, Ryan is a werewolf, and Amy can summon up columns of fire with her mind. Because she's a wizard.
This is Rosenbloom, signing off.
Danielle, for example, brings with her everywhere she goes, the promise of change, but almost always through violent upheaval. It's not really her fault, and she's rarely aware of it, but serendipity disguised as misfortune seems to be a great friend of hers. Mike on the other hand... Well... He's much more complicated than some of my readers have given him credit for. I sometimes wonder how the story would have gone without the presence of either of these characters, and then I realize it would never have been the same without them. They're essential to The Graceless, and one of them is equally important in the pages of The Forgotten, if not more so.
At any rate, the novel is coming along quite nicely, and it is looking as though The Forgotten will meet its Spring 2011 deadline. I'll be sure to keep everyone posted as the story goes on, without ruining any of the details. After all, it's no fun if I suddenly reveal that Jack was an alien, Ryan is a werewolf, and Amy can summon up columns of fire with her mind. Because she's a wizard.
This is Rosenbloom, signing off.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Regarding Amy O'Hallen
Amy... Oh, Amy. Some have described her as "all that is woman" others have described her as "Danielle Version 0.5" but at her core, Amy O'Hallen is just that. Amy. Probably the character in the whole of The Graceless who I feel legitimately bad for when I think back on her story arc. She finally finds the strength that Jack wanted her to the whole time, but in the end, what good does it really do her? I suppose that's up to the reader, though. This is my love letter to Amy, though. The end-all, be-all to the character. A eulogy for a character I'm not quite ready to retire.
Amelia Claire O'Hallen, some may be pleased to hear, will be making an appearance in Act Two of the Chainsmoker's Trilogy, The Forgotten. I really have grown to love this character and all that she represents over time. Initially, she was a cardboard cutout, I'll admit to that, but as the story grew, so did she, and in ways I had never expected. Amy became a bastion of hope in a world where merely losing faith is considered a stroke of good fortune. She turned from a scared, confused girl to a powerful warrior woman, vulnerable only to Jack, an archetypal villain fallen from grace.
Her presence in The Forgotten will be brief, but I can promise this: The book would simply be incomplete without her addition to the novel. That's all I can really reveal about her appearance, as the project is still very much under wraps, but it will be worth the wait.
This is Rosenbloom, signing off.
Amelia Claire O'Hallen, some may be pleased to hear, will be making an appearance in Act Two of the Chainsmoker's Trilogy, The Forgotten. I really have grown to love this character and all that she represents over time. Initially, she was a cardboard cutout, I'll admit to that, but as the story grew, so did she, and in ways I had never expected. Amy became a bastion of hope in a world where merely losing faith is considered a stroke of good fortune. She turned from a scared, confused girl to a powerful warrior woman, vulnerable only to Jack, an archetypal villain fallen from grace.
Her presence in The Forgotten will be brief, but I can promise this: The book would simply be incomplete without her addition to the novel. That's all I can really reveal about her appearance, as the project is still very much under wraps, but it will be worth the wait.
This is Rosenbloom, signing off.
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